Thirteen nicknames with which my love could possibly be tagged. She has several, all of my minting, but if she were to become a capo in the local mafia, she’d need a nickname.

  1. ‘Shadowless’ Chris- on days I work early, I’ll often get home and go upstairs and turn off three lights that have been on all day. Some evenings when we go to bed, I’ll have to turn off six or seven switches. Downstairs.
  2. ‘Fumes’ Rennie – I fill up at 1/4 tank. She has it estimated out to the last kilometre, which ties in with the next nickname.
  3. Christine ‘Slide Rule’ Rennie. I’m a pretty smart guy, calculate stuff for a living, and when I want to know something numeric, like how long would it take to get to the moon if you were driving a Yugo (never) or how many kilometres we have to go before we run out of gas (usually about 60 when I ask), I’ll ask her. Because she’ll know.
  4. ‘Yes’ Woman – I never have to beg. Or even repeat myself. Virtually any time, virtually any place. Not that I make a habit of demanding in unusual, public, or inconvenient places, but I could. And she’d say yes.
  5. ‘Clotheshorse’ Chris – I should send her name in to ‘What Not To Wear’. This is a beautiful woman who, for years, wore an oversize man’s jacket with the name of a building supplier of some kind embroidered on it. Who wears 2 layers of fleece, that uber-stylish fabric, because she’s cold. Speaking of which:
  6. ‘Hot Stuff’ – her hands and feet are like slender little icicles. Fortunately for her I generate a fair amount of heat and am willing to suffer. Oh, how I suffer.
  7. Chris ‘Kitchen Tornado’ Rennie – you can tell when Chris has been cooking up a storm because there’s no room left on the kitchen counter. Eggshells, lemon peels, the little onion toupees, the flour jar, butter, knives, pepper seeds. At least she doesn’t pile it all in the sink and run water into it: I’ve lived with people like that and it means you have to take everything OUT of the sink before you can use it. Which is icky, and double work for the person cleaning up.
  8. ‘Several Species Of Small Furry Animal Gathered Together In A Cave And Grooving With A Pict’ Rennie – we have two kinds of rodents now, and she keeps eying more. The only reason we don’t have a miniature cow is that they’re not miniature enough to fit in a hamster cage.
  9. Christine the Legs – woman’s got some nice gams on her, she does. Not the muscular tanned beach queen sort, but long and elegant, with beautifully shaped ankles.
  10. Chris ‘Yes But’ – I often hear these words when I’m just getting under way with a good rant. It either derails the rant completely, or exacerbates it. A closet curmudgeon needs to rant every now and again, so lately, it has tended to exacerbate. Which seems to work well for all involved.
  11. ‘Curves’ – how I love to hug those curves.
  12. ‘Boyscout Study Guide’ Rennie – one of my major responsibilities is rubbing the knots out of her back and neck. She often has bowlines in her little traps, sheepshanks down her spine, reef knots across her shoulders…
  13. ‘Bedrock’ Chris Rennie – if I had to pick one thing that described our relationship, it would be ‘trust’. All of the good things we have together flow from this trust. I would trust this woman with my life.

    Hell, I already have.

Oh, and I still feel the way I did last year.

*** Update ***

I emailed Chris to tell her to drive carefully, which I always do even though I know it’s nothing but a conceit, because if something happens it happens, and I got this back:

Did, and got gas when I still had 10% of a tank left (actually, it was
a little more than 12%).

Ah… see? see? SeewhutImean?